I’ve noticed that I look like such a social butterfly, like I go out a lot, you know have a large group of friends, but I actually don’t. In all honesty, I actually struggle with social anxiety most of the time. You know those instances where the invitation arrives in your WhatsApp, and immediately, the familiar wave of anxiety hits?Whether it’s a little get together at a friend’s house, a networking event, or even a wedding invite, the thought of making small talk with a room full of people can feel daunting. If you’re an introvert or someone who struggles with social anxiety, social events can be downright terrifying.

But here’s the thing that I’ve come to realise: it doesn’t have to be that way. Hear me out…

The RSVP Dilemma: Saying Yes with Intention

Picture this: you’ve just received an invite to the office party. You start mentally crafting your excuses—"I’ll be out of town,” “I’m not feeling well,” or the classic, “I have a prior commitment.” But before you hit send on that regretful RSVP, take a moment to consider this: What if you went, but on your terms?

Instead of committing to the entire event, plan to attend for just 30 minutes. Give yourself permission to leave once you’ve made an appearance and chatted with a few people. Chances are, once you’re there, you might find yourself staying longer. But by setting a manageable expectation, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed before you even arrive.

The Power of a Social Sidekick

One of the best ways to navigate a social event is with a trusty ‘sidekick’ by your side. If you can, invite a colleague or friend who understands your social anxiety or introverted tendencies. Having someone to lean on can make the whole experience feel less intimidating.

But what if you’re flying solo? No problem! My strategy is to always, before the event, mentally identify a few “safe” people I know will be there—whether it’s my work buddy or someone I’ve maybe exchanged emails with. I always try and seek out those people so I can start the event with a friendly, familiar face.

Mastering the Art of Small Talk (Without the Cringe)

Ah, small talk, the bane of every introvert’s existence. But here’s a secret: it doesn’t have to be painful. Instead of dreading the usual “So, what do you do?” exchange, think of a few conversation starters that you feel comfortable with. Ask about someone’s weekend plans, compliment their outfit, or inquire about a topic related to the event (like, “Have you tried the food? It’s amazing!”).

Embrace the Quiet Moments

Social events don’t have to be a marathon of non-stop interaction. It’s perfectly okay to take a breather when you need it. Step outside for some fresh air, go to the bathroom for a moment of solitude, or find a quiet corner where you can recharge (but don’t stay there the whole time)

Sometimes, just a few minutes of quiet can give you the energy to dive back into the crowd with renewed confidence.

Exiting Gracefully (When You’ve Had Enough)

Let’s be real—there’s no rule that says you have to stay until the bitter end. If you’ve hit your social limit, it’s okay to leave. But instead of slipping out unnoticed, do a quick round of goodbyes to a few key people, your host, your boss, or the friend who invited you. A simple “Thanks so much, I had a great time!” is all it takes.

Celebrate Your Wins

If you’re someone who finds social events challenging, it’s important to acknowledge your victories, no matter how small. Did you attend the event, even though you wanted to stay home? That’s a win. Did you strike up a conversation with someone new? That’s another win.

Celebrate each step forward, and remember that every time you push yourself out of your comfort zone, you’re growing your confidence muscle. It doesn’t matter if it was perfect—it matters that you showed up.

Navigating social events as an introvert or someone with social anxiety isn’t about becoming the life of the party, I think it’s about finding ways to make these situations work for you. So the next time an invitation arrives, take a deep breath and remember: you’ve got this. And who knows? You might even surprise yourself and have a little fun along the way.