I used to spend way too much time stressing over other people’s opinions. Whether it was friends canceling plans last minute, a coworker being distant, or someone not supporting me the way I expected—I took it personally. I’d analyze, overthink, and twist myself into knots wondering:

Did I do something wrong?
Why don’t they see my effort?
Should I try harder?

Then, I came across Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” Theory, and let me tell you—it was the mental reset I didn’t know I needed.

It’s simple: When people show you who they are, what they want, or how they behave—let them.

Someone isn’t making an effort in your friendship? Let them.
A coworker takes credit for an idea? Let them.
A family member keeps judging your choices? Let them.
That person you’re dating isn’t prioritizing you? Let them.

Not in a passive, “I don’t care” way—but in a freeing, I’m-not-in-control-of-other-people way.

Instead of trying to change them, convince them, or stress over it, you accept it and focus on what you can control—your energy, your peace, your boundaries.

I’ll be honest, when I first heard this, my instinct was:
Yeah, but… what if I don’t want to let them?

It felt unnatural. I’m a problem-solver, a fixer, someone who likes to make things work. But the more I practiced it, the more I realized:

People’s actions aren’t about me. They’re about them.
I can’t force people to act how I want. And trying just drains my energy.
Letting go actually feels better than overthinking.

How the “Let Them” Theory Works in Everyday Life

1. It Stops the Overthinking Spiral

Before: Why didn’t they invite me? Are they mad at me? Should I ask?
Now: They made their choice. Let them.

Instead of wasting hours overanalyzing, I move on. And wow—it’s peaceful here.

2. It Protects Your Energy

Before: I keep giving and giving, and they don’t appreciate it.
Now: If they don’t value my effort, I won’t force it. Let them.

Instead of bending over backward for people who don’t reciprocate, I pour into the relationships that feel mutual.

3. It Shifts Your Focus to What Matters

Before: They don’t support me the way I expected. That hurts.
Now: Not everyone will. Let them. But I’ll focus on the ones who do.

Instead of dwelling on the wrong people, I invest in the right ones.

“Letting Them” Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Care

This isn’t about being indifferent, shutting people out, or pretending things don’t affect you. It’s about acceptance.

Accepting that you can’t control how people act—only how you respond.
Accepting that not everyone will meet your expectations, and that’s okay.
Accepting that your energy is better spent on people who choose to show up.

Since trying the “Let Them” Theory, I feel lighter. I no longer try to force relationships, explanations, or validation. I trust that the right people will stay, the wrong ones will fade, and whatever’s meant for me won’t need convincing.

So, the next time someone does something that frustrates you, hurts you, or confuses you—pause. Instead of reacting, just think:

Let them.