The Art of Asking for Help: 5 Strategies That Make It Easier
I used to think asking for help made me look weak. I’d convince myself, I should be able to handle this on my own, even when I was drowning. Sound familiar?
The truth is, asking for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of self-awareness and strength. We weren’t meant to do everything alone. But that doesn’t make it any less intimidating, especially when you don’t know how to ask or worry about being a burden.
So, if you’ve ever hesitated to reach out, here are five ways to ask for help that actually work—without feeling awkward, guilty, or scared.
1. Be Clear About What You Need
Instead of saying, I don’t know what to do, try something more specific like:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed with this project. Can you help me break it down into smaller steps?”
“I could really use an extra set of hands to get this done—would you be open to helping?”
People want to help, but they need to know how they can best support you. Being clear and direct makes it easier for them to say yes.
2. Start Small If You’re Nervous
If asking for help feels huge, start with low-stakes requests. Ask a friend for advice on something small. Let someone grab coffee for you. Build the muscle of receiving help, and over time, it won’t feel as uncomfortable to ask for bigger things.
Try:
“Hey, I’d love your thoughts on something. Do you have five minutes?” “Could you proofread this for me? I’d really appreciate another set of eyes.”
The more you practice, the easier it gets.
3. Offer Help First (But Not as a Condition!)
Sometimes, it’s easier to ask for help when you’ve already built a culture of giving and receiving in your relationships. Be the person who offers support—without expecting anything in return. Over time, this makes it feel natural to lean on others when you need it, too.
That said, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to “earn” help. You deserve support simply because you’re human.
4. Reframe It: People Like to Help
Ever notice how good it feels to be there for someone? Helping others makes people feel valuable and appreciated. When you reframe your request as giving someone the chance to contribute, it takes the pressure off.
Instead of:
“I hate to ask, but...”
Try:
“I’d love your perspective on this—your advice always helps me think clearer.”
It’s a win-win. You get support, and they feel valued.
5. Accept the Help Without Guilt
This one is big. If someone says yes, don’t minimize it by saying, Are you sure? or I feel so bad for asking.
Instead, say:
“Thank you so much. This means a lot to me.”
Receiving with gratitude, rather than guilt, strengthens your relationships. And the more you let others help, the more they’ll feel comfortable leaning on you when they need it, too.
So, what’s one small way you can ask for help today?